healthy enlightened relationships


Love the beautiful word we use for our romantic emotions, or something/someone we like very much but when the fires of love rage or when we lose love, our emotions and feelings can be dramatically thrown around quicker than any other human emotion.


Just like a rose, a relationship grows and changes as it matures, and to keep it fresh, enlightened and healthy, requires being compassionate, understanding and respectful.


The true hard to find quality of love is not what you can get out of a loving realationship but what you can give and that desire to give love, goodness and support to your lover is what keeps the relationship wholesome, fresh and alive, but it isnt always so easy especially in the first stages. 


After some weeks or months into a loving relationship, inner disturbances can arise, these upsetting and usually unnecassery disturbances can often be mysteriously difficult to banish because they are wired up to our emotional circuitry, which significantly influence our cognitive functions including logical reasoning and problem solving skills.


Because of this its important that we treat our beloved with respect, sensitivity and understanding and avoid the egoic tricks and mind games which will eventually destroy the love unless we deal with them and expel them. Here are the most serious;

  • Possesive jealously and lack of trust, which makes a prison for the love.
  • Affairs and actions that betray the contract of love.
  • Anger, verbal and physical violence that sabotage the relationship.
  • Revenge or keeping score which creates a battlefield of the relationship.
  • Humiliating your partner in public .
  • Ureasonable expectations.


Unnecessary Projections

Within us all is the image of the ideal partner, the mr or miss perfect of what we believe our lover should be like and so we look for someone who will replicate this illusion.


This idealised illusion is known as the anima and animus. The anima is the ideal woman for a man and the animus is the ideal man for a woman.


As we get older through life experiences our ideal image matures, and can even become integrated into our own personality in ways that make us more creative, passionate and spiritually aware.  


As a result of more life experience during our middle years, we begin to realise that the ideal image was / is a reflection of our own soul and so we eventually learn that this ideal image that we were searching for but never found is not of our partners responsibility, or not what can be found in someone else but something that is a part of ourselves that needs to be nurtured, our own soul integration and self acceptance.


this realisation is an important part of self-completion on our own life path.


Projective Development

  • If you are new in a relationship notice how often you project your emotion onto your partner. It may be more supportive to try to mediate your love contract from your own heart instead of the projected illusion.
  • Allow your partner to be who they are, rather than who or how  you think they should be and remove any illusions you've attached to him or her.
  • Check the characteristics of your ideal image, and feel which essential qualities you truly wish for, for your own soul completion.


Jealousy and Possessiveness

When love becomes possessive, then the trust has left and deep fears have infiltrated the relationship. The wonderful magic of love then sadly transforms into a form of surveillance.


Jealousy and possessiveness are intrusions into the loving relationship that want to steal our life power and strengthen our boundaries.


Jealousy doesn't just manifest on the surface as anger, but also can manifest like a plastic wrap that creates intolerance to the partners own life path. Both of these energies have the same intention in mind, to destroy the relationship.


Jealousy involves three people, and its root is fear of abandonment and insecurities that you are not good enough for your partner. 


Jealousy can also be triggered by a partner in the relationship by lack of honour to the pure love and the partner feeding the others jealousy even more by flirtatious behaviour and actions that attract a third persons energy into the relationship.


If you are feeling jealous or if something has happened in the relationship that damaged the real pure love, take a look at the following tips to repair and re-harmonise the deep love;

  • Feel what activates the jealousy of your partner inside you? what is the root of that fear?
  • Why are you insecure about trusting your partner? Think about the consequences jealousy has had upon you and others in the past.
  • If you are feeling jealous about something your partner is doing or has done, discuss this problem with the partner, listen patiently to any mistaken views, neutralise any of your accusations, reaffirm your love and gently hug and kiss your partner.
  • Challenge unkind thoughts about yourself and boost your own self esteem and confidence through worthwhile creative hobbies.
  • Try not to compare yourself to others.
  • Be true, be compassionate and be respectful to yourself and your partner. 



Everlasting Love

Love needs to be present and active on all levels for a lasting functioning relationship, not just body with body, but also the parts of the soul to the parts of the soul. The different parts of our soul all crave for this fulfilment but seldom find it.


Plato the greek, stated a greek myth of how soul partners find each other because they were once part of a single soul that had been divided, the love between them is `always trying to make two into one and to bridge the gulf between one human being and another.


If you are in a relationship that is mainly physical then your vital souls are paired. If you include your personal souls, then your relationship will be also romantically and emotionally paired.


If you can also include your wisdom souls,  you will then be paired spiritually as well as physically and emotionally, when these three parts are active and in harmony then you have three strong bonds that connect you and the love can then flourish and become everlasting.


Achieving Loving Relationships

  • Have fun together and be best friends.
  • Move on from old relationships and discard old love stories.
  • Be trustworthy and trust each other.
  • Encourage each other and be of service to your partner.
  • Be prepared to work at your relationship to help it evolve.
  • Communicate regularly and respectfully.
  • Remove the burden of perfection from your partner.
  • Balance the fires of intimacy with your own creative hobbies.
  • Make up after any disagreements or arguments before sleeping.
  • Let go of any judgement or negative projections.
  • Listen deeply to your Partner.

Peter Carvello,

June 2024.